Thyroid UK Support

Suicide because of not copying with challenges of hypothyroidism and its complications, cruelty of NHS doctors.

Edysia
Posted by Edysia
23 Feb 2013
110 comments

At the beginning I would like to thank you everyone for kind words of support which I have received on this forum. I do appreciate it a lot.

I know many of you struggle but I am not sure how do you cope with the problem of thyroid dysfunction psychologically? I have totally lost it to the point of attempting suicide.

I am having, no family, no close relatives and not a single soul around me. The only person who cares is my friend Tony, who often comes on this forum to ask some questions on my behalf.
Tony does live quite far away from me, so I am totally isolated, literally locked in my flat all day long. It has been almost 3 years... I was dismissed from my good job due to ill health triggered by my mum's death and other tragic events.

My life was and as it appears now still is quite tragic. I do not want to go into details, it is too difficult to talk about it.
I did study all my life. I did a college degree, then went to university, graduated, started another degree, just to build my life, to have a career, all against what happened in my past.

My whole life I could only rely on myself and I needed to be very strong and fight hard to get anywhere. I thought that at some point there will be a reward, a better time for me, a break from all this tragedy.

I was wrong. After all this life battle my body just gave in. Now I am diagnosed with hypothyroidism and I am forced to stop my studies ( something that kept me going when I lost my mum, my dad, my family home...)

Unfortunately hypothyroidism took what I valued the most, the sharpness of my brain, the clarity, analytic thinking, my creativity.. I cant even read a simple book any more, I cannot do my art, I cannot concentrate on the movie. It does drives me crazy.

I had other co-existing conditions and before I started to suffer from hypothyroidism I was severely depressed due to all trauma that I have experienced in my life.

Doctors in my surgery are just cruel. They deny me important blood tests, which does not help with further diagnosis ( co-existing conditions) and do nothing to help with monitoring my treatment progress.

I don't sleep, I am very suicidal. I have tried couple of times to end my life ( just recently).

My treatment already appears to be complicated. Erfa which I am taking started to lower my temperature, made me more anxious and week. I know a lot of people would say - weak adrenals, which should be treated first, and that I should reduce or split the dose of Erfa.

Unfortunately for me there is too much of a trial and error in all of this. Too much experimenting, to much struggle which I cannot take, especially that I am on my own in an empty flat with my thoughts, fears , loneliness, day after day, night after night, months, years...

Hypothyroidism caught me in the worst moment of my life, at the time that I lost what I loved the most, at the time that I was literally lying on the floor and not being able to move... I feel battered.

I am sorry for writing pessimistic blogs but I just do not know what to do with myself.
I am afraid that I will kill myself. Or even more I am not longer afraid that I kill myself but on the opposite I do often wish I was dead.
I am not having access to counselling because my surgery is crap. I cannot afford private sessions now as I have lost my job.

I do not know how to handle this all. I feel so much disabled and fear that I will never get full brain function.. this scares me the most and drives me to suicide. Its hard for somebody who studied all life suddenly not to be able to do it at all. Everyone has essence of life and mine was studying.

I must add that I absolutely hate how cruel and ignorant are doctors here. I am treated worse than animals are being treated and I do not have the energy to fight back any more. I used to be a person who was able to defend myself and fight for things but I am gone now. It is late at night as usual and I don't sleep, I am scared of tomorrow..
Thank you for listening
Wishing you all the best and good health.
Edysia

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110 comments

MaryC
MaryC
23 Feb 2013
Edysia
I think most of the experienced Thyroid UK users are probably asleep now, but I'm sure they will offer help in the morning. Please, please call Samaritans if you feel so low 08457 90 90 90 - and please be assured lots of us care very much about you and will do everything we can to help. Mary xx

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Scarfred
Scarfred
23 Feb 2013
Edysia

Please be strong, you have to stand up to this illness. I write this sitting in the heart ward unable to sleep with chronic lower back shoulder and neck pain, I also have the exact stomach pain as yourself. I have only just joined, and found so many answers, and valuable advice. Read my questions and blogs, you and I can fight this together, feel free to as anything you want, however personal. I am no longer going to be a victim of this disease. I like you have lost everything, but use your intelligence and strength to fight this illness. Love hugs and hope.

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Jackie
Jackie
23 Feb 2013
Hi Edysia,
Please do not feel like thisOn the right treatment your thyroid issues will respond briliantly and all the symptoms will return to how they wer. I was fighting for a diagnosis for many years as I have many lethal conditions. Once i found a brilliant endo my thyoird was stable in a year. I have autoimmune HPO , hASHIMOTOS.
iF ALL ELSE FAILS ,IF POSSIBLE PAY FOR THE BLOOD TESTS THROUGH THE tuk SITE, BLOODS

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hollyann
hollyann
23 Feb 2013
Edysia, I think MaryC made a very good suggestion. The Samaritans are a brilliant resource when you're feeling alone and hopeless. Where you are at the moment is a very bleak place and the lowest point will pass. I don't say that lightly, and I have some experience of feeling very low.

I hope you are able to get some rest tonight and when others here are up and see your post the messages of support will come flooding in.

Hx

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Scarfred
Scarfred
23 Feb 2013
I read a blog about someone's wardrobe blog, it made me smile, for the first time in months. I have taken this as my first sign of hope, and made me determined to fight for the write and correct treatment for my illness. I am not going to stop till I do. I am going to post a blog latter please read it. Thursday an Endo came to my bedside declared that my thyroid was normal!!!!!!!!!!! Informed me that I had had a blood clot and wanted me to have a CAT scan!!! I insisted on free T3 and free T4 due to advice I'd been given from this forum. I had to ask three times, and asked why not? As they were taking more bloods to see if I'd had a clot. I had actually stood up for myself!!! The sister on the ward kind of said to be who am I to question an expert. The short version is they came back very high.

Retribution what a great feeling, like you, I never thought I would ever have any other feeling than chronic pain, frustration, despair.

Hugs and hope

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Jackie
Jackie
23 Feb 2013
Edysia,
Sorry PC had a blip. They did not used to be available when I was having nasty weekly letters from my GP. or when I was in a mental hospital due to undiagnosed thyroid disease and heart, not referred to the correct people either. If you can afford the basic thyroid test, Blue Horizon, Bloods,on the site the intermediate test is TH, T4 and Free T3, all the basic need for a diagnosis. If you quote TUK 10 , code then it costs £61. All do it yourself. Results very quickly, do not do it Friday or Saturday because of the poor postal service. They are a very well known Lab and you can show the results to any doctor for treatment. Once on treatment you should be able to get the other tests advisable, especially if it is autoimmune.

My thyroid has been stable for many years inspite of being at the point of death 6 times. I am old so are my friends, a lot of them I see very frequently. My brain is far better than theirs. I have had some terrible doctors and medical mistakes but I have fought for the best ones and not relied on other people but especially GPs but I have found them myself. They all say, and top ones, that they expect me to self diagnose, which I always have to, as I am so complicated and so ill and I know best. It was a battle and in hospital every couple of months ,at deaths door. That is a nightmare. You just come to the stage you have to stand up to everyone and put yourself first.
I hope that this is some help to you. Any thing else do get back to me. Click on "reply to this" or click on pretend picture to PM me.
Very best wishes,
Jackie

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CARYL
CARYL
23 Feb 2013
Edysia

I have no words of advice to offer regarding your medical problems, but want to say my thoughts are with you. Life can be very cruel. and you have had more than your share of sadness. I hope you can find strength in remembering the love your parents had, and still have, for you - for their sake keep battling on, and you will find light at the end of the tunnel.

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Edysia
Edysia
28 Feb 2013
Thank you Caryl. I am really trying to fight.. but I just don't believe in full recovery hence my depression. My life will be lost I won't be able to do my PhD.. My brain will never function well again. I can't accept that. I will never be able to smile again.
Thank you for your kind words
Edysia xx

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Scarfred
Scarfred
23 Feb 2013
You can be my friend, this not said out of sympathy or pity. I am lonely and alone too . I need a friend, and to have one that shares my illness would be even better. I have never thought of suicide, but have been as low to wish for an early death. You can join with me and fight for the right for a correct diagnosis and treatment. I have realised had sad and lonely and alone I am since being in hospital. Keep fighting don't give up. Hug

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fedupsusie
23 Feb 2013
Ive been where you are , I know how it feels, and I get the whole thing with doctors as I have been treated the same. Dont bother with the samaritans, they are condecsending and of no use what so ever unless you just want to air your feelings, which you have already done here. Call SANE instead, they are far more use 0845 767 8000, although unfortunately dont have 24 hr manned lines. and are only open evenings and weekends. or contact the NHS (although also not had a good experience with them although that may have been just my area that was poor.

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Jonesey
Jonesey
23 Feb 2013
Hi Edysia
Know that you are not alone, ever. Just by reaching out you have connected with everyone on here and they are thinking of you and praying for you to find strength to fight this illness, as we all have and are still. It's ongoing, like life, always a struggle, testing us like life, at times impossible, at others possible. Look for the tiniest victories in your battle with depression because they'll add up and gain momentum. Rejoice in the small things that make you smile - great things have nowhere to expand but small stuff can only grow and it's the small stuff that keeps us ticking. You will recover and you are not alone. Believe that every moment you can, because it's the truth.
xxx

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marram
marram
23 Feb 2013
Dear Edysia
I have been as desperate as you in the past, I wish that someone could be with you right now, this forum can be far too impersonal at times like this. Remember my message to you, I am still here. Can you phone Tony? I know that the nights are the worst, they seem so long and lonely.

I, too, have studied all my life, and also been very creative, but over the past year I have been unable to even focus enough to cook a meal, let alone write poetry or sketch. I have someone now but there has been a long time in the past when I was very alone, and I know that in truth it is the being alone that is the hardest thing to cope with.

There are many on here who are holding out a hand of friendship to you, surely someone would be near enough to you? Many of those who write on here are alone too, and come here because they have no-where else to go.

Please, please believe me when I say that although you feel very alone you are not entirely alone, let us keep you strong enough to get over this crisis and then life may not seem so bleak when you start to recover.

True it does indeed take time, but you can do it. Inside you right now is the same courageous person who brought you to this country and took you through your studies, cared for those you love, she has not gone, she has not been taken away by this illness, she is just asleep right now. Give the real you a chance to shine again. You have so much still to do.

My heart wants to be with you, Marie XXXX

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MaryF
MaryF
23 Feb 2013
Hi there you have taken a very brave first step here, by reach out and asking for help.With some solidarity and on line friendship, things will feel a little better and put you in a stronger position, also some members on here may live in your area, and feel similar isolation. It may be you do have to look at your adrenals first.. i know I had to deal with mine first before adding in the nutri thryoid. I hope we see you more on here, and that some good solid support networks appear for you. Mary F X

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LouiseWarvillToo
LouiseWarvillToo Thyroid UK
23 Feb 2013
Edysia

I really hope that you have found something in the words of these wonderful people to give you some hope.

Please respond as soon as you feel up to it so that everyone will know that you are ok. Thanks :-)

Louise
x

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ssarahstella
ssarahstella
23 Feb 2013
I'm sorry there seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel. You've come so far and survived so much, you've tried so hard to get on your feet, you can do this. What can you do to stabilise your thyroid condition further? Can you change gp? It might be that with a few tweaks you could improve a little. Sleep is important maybe a new gp could help with this. Ring NHS direct maybe see an out of hours gp. Good things do happen, just keep going a bit longer, we are here for these moments. Keep talking to us, we all understand. Things will get better, your efforts will pay off you'll be able to enjoy life again. One step at a time.
Is your Erfa at the right dose are you in a position to pay privately for a blood test, will your gp send for one, maybe a new gp would or an out of hours gp. Im thinking of you, please don't give up. Sarah x

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greygoose
greygoose
23 Feb 2013
Hi Edysia, (what a lovely name), I am so sorry you feel so bad. This bloody illness does kick you when you're down, I know, I finally got diagnosed just after my mum died when I was really, really low, and there were times then when I wished I were dead. But I'm still here.

Yes, doctors can be very cruel and uncaring - makes you wonder why they became doctors in the first place. Was it a power trip? Certainly wasn't to help the most vulnerable of people, like us! It's the humiliation that hurts. But we have to fight back, we can't let them win!

I can't think of anything to say that might be helpful. At times words lose their effectiveness. Just know that you are not alone and that many, many people here feel your pain and send you love and best wishes and are praying for you to keep you strong.

Hang on in there, gal! We're with you all the way. Grey xxx

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RedApple
RedApple Admin
23 Feb 2013
I am another who has been where you are now with this awful illness Edysia.

And I am proof that you can get your brain back.

I know how you feel. Please don't give up. You can do this. We are here for you.

And I know that my sending you a virtual hug does not have the same effect as a real hug, but I'm sending it anyway.

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CarolynB
CarolynB Admin
23 Feb 2013
Edysia, please don't give up. A lot of people here care about you very much as you can see from all the wonderful messages here. I have found myself looking for posts from you or Tony each morning to see how you are doing.

Please keep blogging and let us know how you are doing. You can get there in the end. I am living proof of this. I no longer need my cardiologist, neurologist or psychiatrist. My mental health nurse doesn't need to see me any more and can't believe the difference in me. Please, please don't give up. We will do our best to support you.

Love and hugs

Carolyn x

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Edysia
Edysia
28 Feb 2013
Thank you so much Carolyn. I wish I had more to say, but I am still very low. Mostly about not having a life filled with studying and career. I feel that I am disabled forever. My self- esteem stopped existing.. I don't want to say more because I sound really pessimistic...
Sending you lots of love and lots of hugs xxx
I am grateful for your help on the forum.

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Vickiti
Vickiti
23 Feb 2013
Edysia, I just want to say ..... I understand!

When life has been really tough and the only thing you could rely on was yourself and your strong mind - to have that diminished by this insidious condition is just too much!

Hang on in there. Be still and calm. Allow your anger, sadness, and despair just to BE. Acknowledge them as true emotions. Don't feel bad for having those feelings, they are entirely just!

Now the harder bit - you need to try to put those feelings to one side. You are not trying to get rid of them, or lock them away, just nudge them to one side of your mind for a while. Let them gentle and quiet, they can have attention from you later - now you need some space in your mind for some practical stuff.

Today try to do ONE thing to help things along. It might be a medical thing - booking an appointment with a different GP, reading some new information, even trying different foods etc. Or it may be something for your emotional well being - ring sane or samaritans, ring Tony for a chat, see who lives close on here and plan a meet-up. See if there is a Thyroid group near to you - or start one, very basic just start with a coffee morning :)

It doesn't matter really WHAT you do at this stage, as long as you do ONE thing today, and tomorrow and every day - each day just ONE thing that is a positive action for YOU.

These little tiny things add up and a month down the line you will look back and see quite a change.

Give it a try and good luck :)

We are with you on this journey, you are not alone.

Vicki xx

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anonymous
23 Feb 2013

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Chillyfeet
23 Feb 2013
Hello Edysia. Doctors are inhumane, the way they are trained and their lack of knowledge makes them. It's the system. Most of them are just ordinary people. Don't waste energy thinking about them and don't try to take them on. You won't win. That way madness lies, I know. I used to waste hours gripped wit h a terrible rage which did me no good psychologically and stopped me getting the right treatment for myself.

It is scary to take charge of your own treatment but that is what you have to do, the average doctor will not help you, and you need to get to grips with that. A lot of your problems are probably related to hypothyroidism, it is a hormone disorder than affects all the other glands. Low cortisol is linked to depression. Have you done the 24 hours saliva test? As you say, you probably need adrenal support. Take it easy and don't beat yourself up. Your job is to get better. It can be done, although it may prove expensive in the short term if you need to pay for tests yourself. The only way these doctors will change their practice is by being forced to by politicians. That will come.

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nchowdhury
nchowdhury
23 Feb 2013
2011 I lost my baby girl as still born, previously life had been a battle pregnancy was tough, married life was hard at start I don't grip to changes well.i took control by deciding and sticking it out.having hypothyroid , grieving and trying to makesure my marriage was strong was hard I had everyone around me but I really had no one.i lost trust in this world I still o I question the little things in life and people because NHS failed me and mu husband and my child .commiting suicide i against my divide but Iv plenty of times just wanted to be non existent to not feel pain.i have tried non medical solution to hypothyroidism one after another. giving up is easy but continuing to fight to get better is what makes a person stronger .i have up in my head but not my heart and for the after two years I'm well on way of being better.try fresh mango, take your meds in night not day. Take vitaminD tablet with your tablets daily.havr walnut peanuts they stimulate your Brain.thyroid has different effects.dont gir up at first hurdle suicide is weakness and you been through a lot like you said don't let an illness take over. Black seed oil helps too.fresh mango helps to sweet potatornhelps thyroid too.so many natural remedy works for me and others medicine is not always solution

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sallyb
sallyb
23 Feb 2013
Dear Edysia,

You do not say where you live, but if you can get out of your flat and go and find a church, you will be able to find someone there that you can talk to. Some churches have a counselling service that is free and my own journey to wellness, started by talking to someone in a church who was able to point me in the right direction. Nowadays, we hesitate to mention religion in case we offend, but when someone is talking about suicide, there really is every need to mention God. Jesus is your healer, your counsellor, your friend, your guide and your journey out of the desperate place that you find yourself in at the moment will begin with Him. Mostly we do not reach out to Him until we are in the depths of despair as we think we have to rely on ourselves and our own resources.

This illness can make you feel so isolated and when you feel so utterly ill, it seems almost impossible to survive from one second to the next, let alone from one minute to the next or one hour or one day to the next. But you can and you will.

My own journey included a suicide attempt and thank God it did not succeed. You do not have to rely on yourself Edysia. There is someone else who knows you better than you know yourself, and you can start by calling out to him and telling Him everything that you have shared with everyone on this site.

His name is Jesus and I promise He will hear you. He is with you in the very depths of your suffering and all you have to do is start talking to Him and you will find that doors will start to open. He is the only reason that I am the person that I am today - healed, restored, forgiven and a whole and complete person again but living in His strength and no longer in my own.

I will be praying for you.

Sally

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Edysia
Edysia
28 Feb 2013
Thank you for your reply Sally. Believe me I begged Jesus every day and night of my life since I was a child. I begged him for help, I begged him for mercy, I begged him for a few happy, pain free days... He never helped.

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Clarebear
Clarebear Admin
23 Feb 2013
Dear Edysia - just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you. Like you, and many of the others here, I too thought I couldn't carry on with my life as I felt so bad. This was about eighteen months ago. When I started on Armour I definitely got worse before I gradually started to feel better. I am now feeling fine, although it has taken a while.

I had to take on responsibility for getting my health back and I did find this prospect very scary. However my friends here have helped to guide me through every step and have given me the confidence to face this. I have had many set backs on the way, but people here always given me suggestions of what to try next. There is an immense wealth of knowledge here on thyroid disease, and you can can benefit from this too.

Please do not give up hope. My brain is functioning reasonably well again, and I am enjoying my work as an accountant. I really struggled with this last year.

As the others have said - you are not alone. Xxxx

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sidneymark70
sidneymark70
23 Feb 2013
Wow, what a lot of lovely people on this Forum. You're in my thoughts too, Edysia. I empathise with the loneliness and depression. And I'm asking myself is it hypothyroidism that causes all our dreadful problems or is it maybe that depression and anxiety can cause hypothyroidism? Well that's what I keep asking myself. But having only just hauled myself out of bed - even after 9 hours sleep! - and reading your message, I feel so angry with the medical profession. If they helped you (and the rest of us) more, you wouldn't be feeling so bad. I also feel total mystification that this illness is so taboo to them - and that they are so unwilling to look into it more. Is it the cost? Is it that they don't believe that hypothyroidism causes so many medical problems. But then why do they keep forking out incredible amounts of money on antidepressants when if the thyroid was treated properly, there possibly wouldn't be so many people suffering with depression today. I can't decide which one of the many symptoms is the worst! - depression, exhaustion, foggy brain etc etc I'm angry for you Edysia and for all of us. Keep hoping and praying that one day you will feel much better than you do today. x

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helvella
helvella Admin
23 Feb 2013
Edysia,

You well know that many people have tried to help you in their own ways.That much is not surprising - it is what this is all about.

But when I connected this morning and saw a thread as long as your arm, I almost fell through the floor. I don't recall ever seeing anything like this so early in the day. (It more often feels as if everyone has gone shopping, to work, whatever else than post here.)

This is only to try to express how much you have affected everyone here. That you have touched a part of all of us that really matters.

I am not a religious person, but have often thought that thyroid hormone should, in a parallel to the the god particle, be called the god hormone. It is so central to our very being. Lack of enough is hell.

All the best

Rod

PS I don't do the emotional posts - I do the "here's a a new paper", "that's where you can find information about something". You got to me. It isn't not caring - but it is about each of us doing what we feel we are best equipped to do.

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Edysia
Edysia
28 Feb 2013
Thank you Rod. I really appreciate your kind words and all the support I have received. I must admit that I didn't expect such great response myself. This forum is full of lovely people. Shame I can't say anything optimistic right now. I wish I could.
BW
Edysia

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Jude
Jude
23 Feb 2013
Edysia
My heart goes out to you.
I wish I could wave a magic wand and make things better for you. I am sure some of the lovely people on this website will give you some good advice that will help you cope but I know how hard it is, as I used to work for a sympathetic doctor who was so good with thyroid patients. Unfortunately he was targeted as so many of these good doctors are but maybe we are being listened to at last. Take those those two wonderful women who recently got a Select Committee in the Scottish Parliament to listen to their thyroid concerns. It will be interesting to see what develops from that.
In the meantime, keep your chin up and know that you are being sent a lot of love from a lot of people who care

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CJ49
CJ49
23 Feb 2013
Edysia....... (((Hugs)))) ((((Hugs)))) ((((Hugs))))

We care! "Please", "Please", "Please"......"Grab-hold of the Lifeline!"........I can't offer medical advice....but there's many of the group that can....and have....all I can do is "reiterate" that "I've been there"....and believe me, you are much "more" worthwhile saving than I ever was!
"Love and (((Hugs)))

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janjan
janjan
23 Feb 2013
Dear fellow sufferer, Edysia, so many people on here have been in that terrible place that you are in. Many are still suffering right now. You have always been strong and have overcome so much difficulty in your life, and you will continue to be strong-keep on trying and you will get there in the end.If you are really really desperate you can go to A and E and tell them that you have a thyroid problem and they will understand.
I used to have treatment from an acupuncturist who treats a lot of people with cancer and HIV. He teaches his patients to say every day 'I will be better tomorrow and I am doing well right now. I can be healed because everything can be healed'.I find that helps me a lot to say this and I try to throw away all my negative thoughts, which we all have when we are ill. Try saying over and over:'I WILL GET BETTER!!!!'
Rod is right about thyroid hormone being the god particle and that made me smile a lot!
I am sending you that smile and pray for you to be strong-although i too am not a religious person, but at terrible times i do pray to something or other!!
Love and hugs, jan xx

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Account deleted
anonymous
23 Feb 2013

This comment was deleted.

jacjo
23 Feb 2013
You have my complete sympathy here.

I certainly would advocate taking to the Samaritans when you are in crisis. Talking really helps.

Can I encourage you to look into something called 'Therapeutic Communities' which may be available on the NHS in your area? You can self refer to these and undergo psychiatric therapy. I have both hypothyroidism and am in psychiatric therapy. I recognise the value of this therapy and would encourage you to look and see if this is available. It does not cure you but it may help you manage the mental unwellness you are experiencing. It wasn't until I 'got into therapy' I realised how deep seated my mental unwellness is. It is helping me but it is far from easy.

If you don't feel that this is appropriate, there is a charity called MInd which may be able to support you through this part of your illness. There is also something called Saneline which may be of use.

I would encourage you to seek psychiatric help as your suicidal thoughts are not entirely down to your Hypothyroidism. There may be a connection between the two but having treated the hypothyroidism, the mental unwellness requires a different sort of treatment. I know. I have both.

Sometimes a broken leg needs a plaster cast AND pain relief... two sorts of treatment for the same person at the same time.

Now you have recognised how unwell you are, you are taking the first step to seeking help from others.

Help is out there. You do not have to be referred by your Dr. It IS available free of charge on the NHS and, you are entitled to claim for Disability Living Allowance if you are experiencing mental disability, which, from my experience, you are. This is available by contacting your local job centre. It takes awhile to process. I would recommend that, if you choose to apply for this that you go to your local 'Advocacy Service' as they will help you fill in these difficult forms so that you receive the maximum financial support which should be available to you. DLA is not income related. You may also be able to claim for Employment Support Allowance but this may be dependent on your income

I know that this has ended up offering practical help to an emotional situation. However, this is my experience and I hope it helps.

Good Luck.

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Peteraitch
Peteraitch
23 Feb 2013
Hi!

I do **SO** relate to your story. Diagnosed at age 9 (so thankfully not congenital), my thyroid deficiency has messed up my life from time to time - my A/S Levels (couldn't take up any of 3 good Uni. places offered), periodic bouts of depression (complicating real issues) and a bout of weight problems (ballooned to 25 stone - fed up being got at for obesity).

But I learned to recognise and adapt - I did qualify, the long way round, as a Chartered Accountant and become involved (still am) with worthwhile issues. Trouble is "issues" keep creeping up on you - it's not like, for instance, like diabetes: miss a shot and zonk, out you go but can take weeks or months to show up. Most GPs don't recognise it in men but do look out for it in women - and refer on, maybe, can't be bothered. **Best** thing that happened to me was having a choking fit because my neck glands had become so enlarged - thankfully near my GP surgery as I was taking my Dad. My GP sorted that immediate issue - then had me whipped straight off to hospital to be really sorted out! In that process, both my GP and I learned so much about the real practical side of the issue, not just the textbook theoretical.

Yes, it has affected my life - I've MADE it positive in recognising what's involved, and swerving around it! I use a dosette box to ensure my daily dosage, I have regular blood checks, I study - not just for interest (history, astronomy, philosophy, theology, photography) but to MAKE me think things through thoroughly and to LOOK for and at all sides of discussions and debates. To REFUSE to indulge in kneejerk responses but to work through questions. To get involved in groups - local, interest, whatever - anything to get out and where people are, to see how others have their own thoughts and issues of no medical source whatever. I started a part-time Degree study and, over 6 years, I completed this BA Course last summer - is that the long way round or what! But I did it!

It's not all roses though: the thyroid "bete noir" is still there sticking its nose in from time to time. The last 18 months, after a protracted period of stress as carer for my disabled parents and jobsearch when assumed to be past my "best before" date, has seen my thyroid balance bouncing around like a ping pong ball! In 2012 I **lost** 4,5 stone in weight - diabetes ruled out through full bloods test. But I dealt with it: with the help of friends, council and social agencies I got out of undesirable accommodation.and was offered social housing, a 1-bedroom flat being all I needed for my little cat and I, and with access to help when needed with an Independent Living Team of the social housing agency (including a Warden through a LifeLink) but not supervised as such, I don't want or need that. Yes, there will always be "unhelpful" people around, but I can deal with that and make the best of it - and sometimes of them to their surprise, and - boy! - is that a good feeling!

What I'm really trying to say is that, like me, you'll have this thing for life now - and YOU can to a very large degree determine the quality of that life: I tell you that in all honesty and sincerity. From time to time you will still get "the blues" - but now you can be ready for them, distinguishing them from practical issues that everyone does get from time to time. You tell an engaging and compelling story - so it's clear to me, and no doubt others here, that you CAN grab back control of your own life! I'm sure that **here** there are people who resonate with this, as do I. So please don't turn your back on life and give up - IT'S YOUR LIFE, LIVE IT!

With all very best wishes - you CAN do it!

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spareribs
spareribs Admin
23 Feb 2013
Hi Edysia

Please read the amazing messages above and let us know you are OK.
I just wanted to add you can always just go to your local A&E.

I apologise I'm unable to say what I feel as I'm not functioning too well at the moment, as untreated, but I know I will get there and you will too ((hugs)) Jane xx

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joesmum
joesmum
23 Feb 2013
Edysia,
Most of us on this forum don't know each other by sight. But we have found a profound sense of self and comfort through our messages to each to other. This is a place where you can belong. Please don't ever think that you are without a friend to talk to. There will always be someone here for you.
I have have suffered for years from debilitating depression associated with thyroid and I take my antidepressant everyday. Without them I do not function. Some of us need to take them and they are life savers.
I wish to god that I could sit with you right now and hold you and tell you not to give up hope. I am sitting up in bed where I have been for the last week because I am struggling to again.
Please wrap yourself in our love and try to stay strong.
Xx

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BexyLS
BexyLS
23 Feb 2013
I, like you, and all these wonderful people here know how you feel Edysia. I was thinking of you a few days ago. Never in my life have i felt so much that suicide would be the answer. When i was on levo every time i raised the dose i would feel like some power would take over me telling me that suicide was best. It's not you its the disease Edysia. We are all here and we all care. Please write back to us tell you are ok X

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123hih123
123hih123
23 Feb 2013
My heart goes out to you Edysia

You have been through so much PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP

I think many of us on here can relate from where you are coming from I dont know what is worse the loneliness or the the inability to function its taken me an hr to write this much LOL

You have us all on here for support someone on here recommended my a face book page just look up Graves disease Hypethyrisum and thyroid eye disease
there are people from all over the world so there is someone out there almost 24/7
I know you are hypo but there are many that are hypo on there to if you are wondering why I suggested it

I have tried a few times to get local people to meet up for a coffee or something just someone to meet up with to break the loneliness as there are a lot of us sitting in alone and would benefit from meeting people going through the same

Have you thought of changing GP you might get better support and be put forward for counselling

Thinking of you and sorry if me message is a bit jumbled

sending you a big hug xxxxxxxx

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PurrJones
PurrJones
23 Feb 2013
Edysia,
You make a difference in the world!
Even by writing this blog post, I'm sure you have helped. Seeing how everyone can come together here, just to post their feelings honestly is helping me and us all.

I, like you, have been through it! Tough times.. and I've been ill with Hashi's for at least 20 years. I only got diagnosed properly last year, after a huge fight and at the time I had zero strength. I was dying...but still the will to live was in there somewhere. Fight for your will to live.

Since I too have time on my hands, and many emotional trials throughout my personal history, I am doing this *see link*. It is helping..it DOES work!

www.fastereft.com/

Also, we are all trying desperately to get the NDT which works for us, blood tests, the right Dr etc....and I am fed up. I'm going back to the beginning of autoimmune= The gut. I've decided to heal this by fermenting foods, recolonizing my gut with the good bacteria and supporting my immune system. You are good at studying, as am I....we can all figure this out together!! :)

All the very best,

Purr Jones x

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LinDonaldson
LinDonaldson
23 Feb 2013
Hi Edysia,

So very sorry that you are suffering. We here are your family. You might not be able to see us or touch us but you can read what way say and know it comes from our hearts. Three years ago I too was like you. My dream to have a job as a lecturer in psychology and later to do research came to an early end due to hypothyroidism. Like you the loss of cognitive ability left me unable to work and feeling very stupid. The loss of self esteem and confidence is overpowering at times. I am glad you have your friend Tony although he lives far away from you.

Try to keep posting here and together we may be able to chip away at your problems. Recovery, to the best that we can, is like climbing a mountain. Sometimes we take two steps forward and one back but slowly, slowly we can and do reach the summit and the views are amazing. And when you look back at the journey and wonder whether you will have to make similar ones in the future you know it will not be so tough because there is knowledge out there and there are people who truly care.

Regards

Lin

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Pinklily
Pinklily
23 Feb 2013
Edysia

I really feel for you I do. Sending lots of big virtual hugs your way. I don't often leave a response on here due to my limitations caused by this horrible illness of hypothyroidism which I call my journey through hypo hell but one which will be overcome. It takes me a long time to be able to put a message together because my mental clarity is not like it was and writing (along with everything else) can be difficult. But I cannot ignore your message no matter how long it takes me to type (over an hr) and no matter how much fuzziness or joint pain or other awful symptoms I experience. Like you I am struggling to find suitable treatment and have been off work and lost my career for what is nearly 3yrs. I have also experienced some very traumatic times. But this isn't about me it's about you. I just want you to know you are not alone on this journey and how you are feeling. There are so many lovely people on this wonderful site who care and want to help and support you. Those who have made that journey through hell and reached happiness. please do not give up now. We can all stay positive and fight this together. We will get better and get our lives back. You sound like have been through so much and it is your courage determination and resilience that has carried you through and it will continue to do so even though I know it doesn't feel like that now. Hypothyroidism is a horrible debilitating illness when not treated properly and can affect your physical and mental wellbeing in so many ways but it will get better. Edysia you mention that before hypothyroidism you were suffering with depression because of the awful trauma you have experienced. Counselling may help. Also Please contact Mind for support they have some very useful information and can offer advice regarding coping mechanisms etc.

No pressure but when you feel able to please post on here so we know you are ok or get your friend Tony to post.

Keep believing with hope and faith

Thinking of you

Love and hugs

Pink lily xxx

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foreversummer
foreversummer
23 Feb 2013
Oh Edysia. I have nothing to add to the fantastic posts above, but just wanted to say you have not been far from my thoughts all morning. I've just popped back to see if you are OK. Please, please post again so we know you are OK. There are so many people thinking of you.

Foreversummer

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shambles
shambles
23 Feb 2013
I just want to add my support to you Edysia. Terrible terrible times.

Stay with this forum and all these wonderful people, they will/can help and guide you.

One day at a time thats all I can say.

Please please post again so we know you are ok.

My thoughts are with you.xx

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leaves
leaves
23 Feb 2013
Hello Edysia .I think for you getting a proper diagnosis and the proper level of treatment is so important . .What were your last blood test results ? .If i were you I would find another Gp one that can help you rather than hinder.

2 years ago I became very depressed .I remember sitting on the floor in the bathroom thinking I don't want to be here anymore .i'm no use to anyone .These thoughts made me realise that something was not right . I went to the Dr the following day and told him how depressed I was .He said do you want to go on Anti depressants I said no I want my TSH checking. The results came back the next day ,My tsh was 7 for me this is terribly high , my meds were raised and within a couple of weeks the cloud had lifted. It is a known fact that Hypothyroidism causes depression if not treated properly . You need someone to care for your medical needs properly ,Please change Gp and get all your bloods checked .We are here for you ,unload as often as you want and maybe the little help we can give will give you just enough strength to get well .Hang in there and keep posting .

Autumn x

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Kezzerb
Kezzerb
23 Feb 2013
Edysia

I read your story this morning I was so touched by how you are feeling I have been thinking all day of what I could say to you.

I know it won't be any help with your medical suffering what I am about to say but I sympathise wholeheartedly and can relate to your feelings.

Firstly you have come to the right place for support.

I am so very grateful to this site and all the other sites set up for Thyroid awareness.

Thanks to their support they have put me on the road to seeing a endocrinologist.

If you can afford it it is worth going to see a private endocrinologist.

Thyroid Uk have a list of recommended sympathetic ones.

I can give you name of the one I am seeing if you message me privately.

Secondly we are all in this together and support each other.

You do not have to suffer mentally you are depressed because of your clinical condition.

Don't allow anyone say it is all in your mind.

Please try and think positive you have to focus on being heard and feeling better.

Along with this site and the many other Thyroid organisations there is a lot of information out there and they are all working hard to help the likes of us.

You are not alone.

I am more than willing to chat with you on Facebook if you are willing just add me as a friend search for me Kerry Bird with picture of a white dove with birds4peace on it.

I use my Facebook and I find it picks my spirits up and helps me think more positive with amusing pictures and words of comfort.

I find having a hobby to do just to take your mind off on the few good days you will have.
Unfortunately when you have been in pain for along time it effects your pain threshold and it goes through the roof.

I find warm compresses help and laying in a dark room with soft music playing helps.

10 minutes of yoga really helps me, stretching helps your muscles.

Most of the pain you suffer will be because of feeling so ill you lack mobility. You have to keep moving .

I know it's easier said than done.

Keep telling yourself this soon will pass.

I too like you lost my best friend four years ago my mum I was heartbroken like you and miss her so much. Remember your mum is always with you. I talk to my mum every day.

Although I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism four weeks before My mum died I have been going through taking a builder to court the past six years that has cost a lot of money in legal fees and have been living a house that is badly defective that's is probably what contributed to getting hypothyroidism stress is a contributor. I have become very determined to fight that injustice.

I am determined along with all the other suffers to fight the thyroid sufferers injustice and help the cause.

Please please do not despair.

Love and peace to you from myself and all your fellow sufferers.

Kerry xxxxx

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momofthree
momofthree
23 Feb 2013
edyisia,sweetheart,take on board every bit of advice that these wonderful and been there done that,people are telling you,it has made me stronger knowing that i'm not the only one wishing i was dead because i couldn't face another day of confusion,pain,tears etc.I have a happy list that i look at when i'm feeling down,write down all the things that make you happy,like sunny days,your favorite food,clothes shoes and memorys.i can't give you medical advice just friendly advice and hope that you feel better soon.x

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sonjah70
sonjah70
23 Feb 2013
Psychologically my thyroid is causing me anxiety and stress and life too has dealt me some blows and my coping mechanisms seem to be nearly lost. My GP wanted to prescribe me antidepressants but I refused as I am not suffering from clinical depression but my thyroid condition gives me bouts of anxiety and stress problems and my ferratin is low which too gives you symptoms of chest pain, stress, anxiety etc. But as a stranger reading what you’ve been through, have you not realised that you are much stronger than you give yourself credit for or you would not have survived through all these terrible ordeals to tell the tale. By reading your story it gives others much needed support and help just by reading your words. You sound so courageous and strong, even if you don’t feel that way, and are more than entitled to cry out for a hand of support. Is there not a thyroid community in your area? Can you not ask if there are any members in your county who would want to meet up? Other have done this and can offer each other more support with face to face contact – just an idea. Be strong, you can get through this xxx hugs xxx

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Heloise
Heloise
23 Feb 2013
Edysia, you have eloquently pointed out all that can go wrong with hypothyroidism and the terrible system put in place to assure we stay there. Being cynical enough, I know there is an entity out there that wants us all to give up and die. It has caused the turmoil in the world and brings us all to the brink of annihilation. What saddens me is that people are still trying to conform to the system. There must be a wiser way to approach this. At the very least to warn new ones that relying on the NHS to help you to wellness has little chance of success and to look to other methods before it comes to this. This may call for some rebellion but after reading your journey it seems to point out that we need more than a supportive forum that enables the powers that be. I do hope someone comes to your aid soon.

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GuardianAngel
GuardianAngel
23 Feb 2013
Dear Edysia,

I can only add I know how you feel I have been there but as others have said we have got out of it. I owe a lot of that to this site. We are all here for you. I am sending you lots of love and hugs.

Karen xx

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summer01
summer01
23 Feb 2013
Edysia, you have been through so much and are obviously a very strong person - I couldn't even attempt that amount of studying let alone the other things you have gone through. Please please read all the comments and try to take some comfort that people care, please try to find that little extra bit of strength and don't let the illness win. Sending you big hugs and thinking of you.

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babycatcher7572
babycatcher7572
23 Feb 2013
Edysia.....There are some beautiful, comforting comments above that should help you find some strength to continue your battle against this awful disease. I know how you feel...today i feel much brighter but the day before yesterday , i too wanted to die and it wasnt the first time...i have felt that way on many occasions. My adrenals are weak and any amount of stress causes me a steep mental decline so it may be worthwhile having yours tested too.
Your doctors sound awful.....would you be able to change surgeries, try another?
I really hope you are ok...and i look forward to seeing a post from you soon. I send you lots of love and a whole heap of virtual hugs
Karen x x x x

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alangardner
alangardner
23 Feb 2013
i cannot even begin to say that i understand how you feel as it is my long term partner[30plus yrs] that has the thyroid problem.but as someone that was told that i had to completely give up work from happily working 90plus hrs per week,due to my own health problems,i then had to use two walking sticks just to reach the front gate and at least one to get to the toilet,i found that i had a latent talent ......that being that i am very good at speaking on the phone to companies and the local councill and i have used this to help so many people,mainly the old or disabled that normally get the short end of life and its services that as examples one lady of 89 that hadn't had a proper wash or bath for 3yrs because she couldn't get upstairs to her bathroom i managed to get a wet-room installed for her within 3 months,another lady of 84 suffering with dementia who didnt go out of her bedroom and had been told that she was entitled to a care home placement but none were available this was completed within 2weeks-----3weeks before christmass [and she had no family whatsoever these together with many many more that i am proud of,all of which i have done from sitting down and using the phone......A TATENT THAT I NEVER THOUGHT THAT I HAD......i am certain that you have a talent ---you may not even know or even recognise it yet [but it is there ]......if you want to contact or even just chat ,i myself am awake for roughly 21hrs in 24 and have to sleep on the sofa and have done for over 12 yrs , please contact me on wormone@virginmedia.com and i would be very happy to talk with you at ANY TIME OF THE DAY OR NIGHT if that could be of any help to you. look forward to hearing from you......ALAN

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julietta
julietta
23 Feb 2013
Dear Edysia, I just wanted to say that you have been in my thoughts for many days now, and like others, I care deeply for you and the situation you are in. You are obviously a strong, capable, creative and intelligent person - its just the disease that has got to you. You are totally surrounded by love, support and encouragement as well as practical advice from the inspiring people on this site. What has helped me in the past is just taking one small step, that I feel I can cope with, every day and they soon build up to a reallyworthwhile stairway! Perhaps you could let us know on this site each little step each day or week or so. It would be really lovely to hear - every possible good luck and love.XX

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Celeste
Celeste
23 Feb 2013
Oh Edysia, your NOT alone. Believe in yourself you ARE important. Your illness is making you feel bad, along with your other conditions. Maybe change your doctors as a first step, your doc at the mo seems uncaring. You need support. As has been mentioned, churches are a good place to start seeking contacts, it's hard taking those first steps though. Visit your local councils website, they will also have places of help listed. I've felt the way you do now too. If it wasn't for my kids, I probably wouldn't be here. I am currently a single mum of 3 kids, 2 have special needs and need alot of caring. That adds to my tiredness and stress levels! Years ago, I could easy complete a puzzle book cover to cover within a hour.....now i'm lucky to be able to finish ONE puzzle :( It's sad this illness affects the brain and emotions so much. No-one seems to understand, or even care when you try to explain it. My family don't seem bothered and expect me to be the same as them...when I say i'm too tired they scoff at me like im lying and just being lazy. I say how I feel inside, low, down and just shattered mentally, emotionally and phsyically...I get told to shut up moaning it's not that bad. They say we all feel tired....but they have no idea what thyroid tired feels like do they!....but YOU do. As I know how YOU feel. WE know how it feels. We understand. It's not easy, but you CAN do it.

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plantswoman
plantswoman
23 Feb 2013
Edysia, you can see from all the comments how much sympathy people have. i haven't read all of them, so this may have been said already - apologies if so - but Mind the charity offers counselling, free or at very low cost. i have found them better than the NHS in many ways. as for your brain-fog, that could be due to anxiety or depression, and if you can conquer those with suitable help, you may find that the hypothyroidism is not the cause of it.

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Faffy
Faffy
23 Feb 2013
I just hope you are ok Edysia. I hope your heart is warmed by all the lovely caring people, mine was. I too suffered with depression and am taking medication with the hope I will feel normal again after twenty years and I can now say that I felt a glimmer of happiness so please don't give up and o join Facebook. I will look for you on it the person above is right it does cheer you up.

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laladrew
laladrew
23 Feb 2013
Edysia

I am so sorry things are so bleak for you. I also know how that feels. Just over a year ago I was about to commit suicide. So many things were going wrong with my health and no one was listening or helping, before I found this site. I think it can be the small things that tip us over the edge. For me, it was when I went to the GP for blood pressure check and was told I was clinically obese, had high cholesterol and should apply for a disabled badge due to my fibromyalgia. I sank so low that day. I had money for 'treatment' and counselling, it was just they were all looking in the wrong place. The endo was worse than useless.

I swung from thinking 'ok, give in to this illness, it's won, I am done for anyway so maybe leaving my son and husband to get on with their lives without the spectre of illness is the best thing all round' to ' yeah that will be right, disabled badge! That just lets them off the hook and they give me up as a lost cause, this is war!' And so I fought. I know it was easier for me as i had some money and a family. I know that. But the hardest part of the battle is mental. You need to be stubborn, determined and find that sheer force of will. I am a bloody minded person, I just won't be beaten. And I think, somewhere inside, you are the same.

Come out fighting. It does get better when you take it one day at a time. People here are brilliant, they saved my life.x

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Schenks
Schenks
23 Feb 2013
Where in the country do you live, honey?

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deniD
deniD
23 Feb 2013
Xxxx

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deniD
deniD
23 Feb 2013
Xxxx

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hymermad
hymermad
23 Feb 2013
You are not alone, please know that we care. I felt like this a while back but am a lot stronger now. Please phone Samaritins, they are brilliant. I have in the past phoned them many years ago and they were amazing. If at all possible change your GP. Sending you love and hugs. Caroline x

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Stormyone
Stormyone
23 Feb 2013
Edysia, there is nothing I could add to all the wonderful comments.
I am also so glad I found this site. I was beginning to think I was going crazy.
Take care, big gentle hugs xx

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cinnamon_girl
cinnamon_girl
23 Feb 2013
Edysia - I am so sorry to hear this and have been looking for practical advice to assist you. This could be worth a try, you need someone to fight your corner and to get the help you desperately need.

www.independentadvocacy.org/

I have no personal experience of them though. At some point it would be worth writing to your MP with details of how GPs have not helped you etc etc.

Please update your blog and we're always here to listen.

With best wishes.

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mandyjane
mandyjane
23 Feb 2013
Dear Edysia,
Thankyou for what you have shared and for trusting us with your pain. I have also had a very traumatic life and many ongoing especially psychaitric health conditions. I have found hope in a connection with a higher power I call Justin or yeshua and the love I have found in a twelve step group called overeaters anonymous. There are lots of these groups all over the place for loads of reasons and they have given me real purpose and hope. I also work as a psychaitric nurse when well enough and I know the NHS can provide a very poor service at times as can GP's but I do beleive that anti d's can really help if prescribed properly but maybe you need to change GP. Surgerys have a culture of their own and yours doesn't sound good. Also can you get some help to move somewhere less isolating we were never mean't to be alone. And it is not your fault, nothing you have done has caused all this hurt. It is not your fault and you are not being punished. You are not to blame so don't hurt yourself because the world needs people like you who are brave enough to be honest and to cry out when it gets too much. I have great hope for people like you. It is the people who don't think they need help who have no hope not you. And you have helped me tonight as I am writing these words for myself as well as you. Also I find the folk rock music of a band called Runrig so soothing and comforting. Learn what comforts and nurtures you. We all all born to do great things don't let anyone or any illness stop you reaching out to discover the greatness you were made for.
Blessages and love
Mandy jane

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woody
woody
23 Feb 2013
Edysia,
I understand what you are talking about brain function and the like. I am having the same problems and I have been severely depressed as a result. I would love to further my education and get a degree as I did an access course last year but I too cannot concentrate on anything clearly either.

I also stay in my flat for days at a time and am unemployed, I see no reason even getting washed those days. I have a teenage son who I have raised by myself and it has not been easy, and still isnt. My family are around, but they do not understand how I feel and certainly do not understand how severe depression is.

I have had to be very self reliant and strong also, and I have been diagnosed with hashimotos, only because I insisted they do tests after trying to tell me it was all psychological. I KNEW my own body and that something wasnt right. Doctors are ignorant, and I am also battling with mine to try and get some relief. It is all too easy to give up but I cannot. I deserve a life and so do you.

Hope you find some comfort in these messages and continue to talk about your feelings with others here. We do care.

Much love.

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Edysia
Edysia
23 Feb 2013
I would like to thank everyone so much for lovely, kind and very supportive words. I wanted to let you know that I am still here. I am feeling very low, and last night was particularly bad for me. I would like to respond to each comment and wonderful messages I have received. Please bear with me. It will take some time to write back to you.
Once again I can't thank you enough for your support, it really helped me. I feel that I am not completely on my own. You are are all so great. It's still hard and I know it will be hard but I don't feel as lonely as I felt.
I am sending you my love.
Edysia xxxx

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Clarebear
Clarebear Admin
23 Feb 2013
Thank you so much for replying Edysia - it's great to hear from you :) We are all here for you. Xxxxxx

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CarolynB
CarolynB Admin
23 Feb 2013
So good to hear from you! Stay strong. We will do our best to support you.

Take care

Carolyn x

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editfmrt
editfmrt
24 Feb 2013
I'm so very glad you are ok and have posted Edysia. I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since I read your post this afternoon and I'm sure everyone else has been the same and willing you on to stay strong.

You can do it - one small step at a time. I'm sure no-one will be expecting you respond to their posts individually - they will just want to help and support you in any way possible.

xx

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BexyLS
BexyLS
24 Feb 2013
So happy you replied :) your post and everyone elses brought tears to my eyes..of sadness but joy to see so many who care. I was so worried about you and have been thinking about you all day. take care and keep us posted :) XXXXXXXX

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Pinklily
Pinklily
24 Feb 2013
So pleased you replied and that you are still with us :-)

Love and hugs

Pink Lily xxx

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Faffy
Faffy
24 Feb 2013
Well done, you are brave. I had to have my cat put to sleep recently it is just so final there is no coming back and just look at all this that you would have missed and also you have brought something to all of us xxxxx

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deskplant
deskplant
24 Feb 2013
<3 to you. You're not alone in this sweetie, not even vaguely. I know it's hard. I really do. I've thought of little else but you since I first read your message. I've been so worried. I know what it is to get so low suicide seems reasonable as life without cognition is impossible. I got there just six months ago. Just don't give up. It's going to be OK. You can find a way and it will be with help from everyone. You're not alone. There are so many digital hands reaching out to you. And they are doing so with much love. <3

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merissa
merissa
24 Feb 2013
Thank you for replying, I went to bed last night thinking about you, praying that you will be a survivor and not a victim of this horrible illness, I was so pleased to switch on my computer and see your post, you have made my day my friend.

I love every one on this site including you of course, they are wonderful human beings who have compassion and care.

It is worrying when you feel alone and have no funds, but you no what hunny, there is a way and a root and you will find it , like all of us, we will get there, we will have times when doom and gloom sets in and negative comments hit our cognition, but remember its your illness that is causing this.

I send you big hugs and if I met you in person, I would hug ya.

try and stay positive, easy said than done I no.

please keep coming on here, if I can help in any way please PM me.
one day at a time.
catch a hug and god bless xxxx

Reply to this

Corinne
Corinne
24 Feb 2013
Hi edysia,

My thoughts and prayers are with you, and send you loads of hugs, Although I don't suffer with the difficulties that you have had to endure and am not very knowledgeable on Thyroid and connected med issues, I can Pray for you, that you have the strength and courage to carry on and that you will get the support you need.xx
I have depleted thinking memory,struggle to get words out, an that make sense, and for me is so frustrating and makes me feel useless and have suffered with depression most of my life, but I have found real support and kindness on this website and strength in my faith. through difficult times. Don't give up honey :)
Love and Hugs
xxx
Corinne

Reply to this

LouiseWarvillToo
LouiseWarvillToo Thyroid UK
24 Feb 2013
Glad you are still with us.

x

Reply to this

amelia
amelia
24 Feb 2013
Hi Edysia,

I felt so compelled to write to you, my heart is filled with heartfelt compassion. I felt your pain of utter despair and yes, death is actually a great comfort, as the suffering of life is greater than to surrender to death.

I my myself have lived with pain most of my life, ( congenital deformities). I Followed my dreams, through sheer passion and through grit and determination became a Metaphysical practitioner...25 years ago.www.energeticdna.com

Autoimmune disease of Thyroid and Hashimoto's is apparent from my maternal side.If you live near London, there is a Nutrition Kinesiologist - Specialize - Autoimmune diseases - Antony Haynes that has helped me enormously with energy and pain and much more. If you explain your full predicament an agreement of concession for payment could be possible?. tel no 0773 695 7822.

If you do not live in London area it might be still worth giving him a call as he could refer you to another practitioner....?

Out of the greatest pains come the greatest blessings! Just when you have resided into the slipstream of the insane matrix called reality.

A glimmer of light, through rays of serenity shine through offering hope and belief that a resolution will ease your sorrow and pain. One day, in the near future you will smile again, and feel the sun on your beautiful face.Your heart will heal, once the tears have run dry, the hallowed screams have halted, the ravaged soul will emerge as a beautiful Morpho butterfly.

Sister, you will fly in beauty once again'; I speak from experience in having the humble privilege of witnessing hundreds of people's lives transform.



Please feel free to contact me via the above website.


Kindest heartfelt blessings

Vanessa

P.S. Would you like me to send you distant healing rays of light, just let me know then I will send accordingly.

Reply to this

deskplant
deskplant
24 Feb 2013
Hey Edysia

If I say I'm sorry it doesn't cover it. I understand. I really do. I used to joke I'm the only person with Alzheimers - who doesn't have it. The 'God Hormone'. Sums it up.

There are so many levels of cognitive dysfunction with this illness. But I find it sad when people say 'i qualified despite being ill' and they think this is as bad as it gets. It's not by a long shot. Reading a recipe, forgetting it, falling asleep on it. That's how bad it gets. Living life and the events, people and everything else dropping into a black hole of zero memory. That's how bad it gets. Getting lost on simple calculations when before your brain would zip through puzzles. That's how bad it gets. And if you're not that bad, if you can still read, watch a film, not get black spaces in your brain for memory, then you're not as bad as it gets. That sounds grumpy, I suppose it is O_o but it's also true.

Recently I did a 3 week fast to get rid of T3 from my system, it didn't all go. There was some still left. But after 3 weeks I couldn't talk, my inner voice was silent. Gone completely. I couldn't even construct a thought. Not one thought of just a few words. I used to joke I could be a happy brain in a jar - I won golden handcuffs to go through Sandhurst and won a PhD - because they offered this coveted funded position to me without my even applying. And then I became a dead brain in a jar. Silent, nothing, everything gone, gone, gone, gone.... gone. I would not have been able to write this message to you. Not even close. I would have struggled to even read your post.

So I'll pass on my insights.

1) you're on the wrong meds. You don't say but I bet you're on levothyroxine. It won't cut it. You need T3. Levo for me was crap. I needed a combination of NDT and synthetic T3 (currently 3 grains PLUS 50mcg of synthetic T3). Without that not only did T4 not work for the range of other hellish symptoms it did nothing for cognitive function repair. And I get mine on the black market. Now I'm pushing for the NHS to prescribe but until I crack that nut I'm buying black market. I know they don't like this on this forum, yet if you want details PM me.
2) dessicated thymus (hypothalamus), adrenal and pituitary. I take the lot. The dessicated products do help. Why I don't know but they've been around from the 1930s and they offer support. I got these from Amazon.
3) That's to start. If you do this then you'll find your cognition massively improved.

4) There are common rumors that when you start hormone replacement all your problems get better. This is rubbish. They do not. You need extra help particularly for depression. Clinical depression will NOT lift just by taking hormone replacement. You need anti-depressants. Clinical depression severely affects cognitive function. You will not be able to do a lot of things while suffering this hypo induced condition. You must revert it. And you CAN. I have started with Sertraline.

5) switch GP's. There are online tools to help you assess GPs. You need to start shopping for a better one. Changing GP will be a lifeline. Also contact your local Pals group and see if they have any info they can share.

6) when you're a little better then get a plan to get some more social activity. Like joining a crafty group or other society. You don't need to be isolated because you life alone and there are things you can do that won't cost an arm and a leg.

7) FOCUS. You're health can be cracked but you need to really down tools and focus on this. And if you need to call the Samaritans.

8) My doctor recommended 'The compassionate mind'. It's a book and I'm struggling to get through it. She said that in her experience the endocrine system heavily affects the AUTONOMIC NERVOUS SYSTEM. And this is connected to what is commonly called spirituality - how and why she doesn't know. And this is outside of normal medical thinking but increasingly she is observing correlations. She said to read up on it, little bit by little bit.

9) And finally she recommended going to the Bhuddist Centre. Because they do free meditation courses which she said are very good. Apparently being able meditate helps the Autonomic Nervous System, as does doing things like Yoga (I laughed at that, I have so little energy and I'm sore) but even a little bit can help.

Have I cracked it - not fully. I feel I'm missing something. But I am a long way to getting this sorted. I think there are problems with the hypothalamus. And I think this is one of the reasons for such complete cognitive smashing. So this is not a cure all strategy. But it is a strategy to bring life back again -- enough to move onwards towards more full repair.

Good luck and if you want to chat with a fellow cognition sufferer, just PM me honey.

Mxx

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123hih123
123hih123
24 Feb 2013
Hi Edysia,

How you doing today cant stop thinking of you

You will never be alone thanks to the wonderful people on here,

We are all here for you xxxxxxxxx

Reply to this

shambles
shambles
24 Feb 2013
Hi Edysia

I'm so pleased you have come back on the forum today :-)

Hard not to think about your pain.

Here's to better days ahead xx

Reply to this

Celeste
Celeste
24 Feb 2013
Hey Edysia, glad to hear from you :) You do not need to reply to everyone individually, one post to all is enough. Glad you got through a bad night and come out the other side. You CAN make it, you CAN do it....and you DID it. Take one day at a time, change doctors and demand help, you need it and deserve it. Knowing others have and still are in the same place may help you some, that your not alone. You have offers from fellow sufferers of someone to talk to who understands completely your situation, that is amazing of them. Just talking to them will help and feel like someones actually listening to you. I hope you find the strentgh to move onwards and upwards :)

Reply to this

ravenhex
ravenhex
24 Feb 2013
Hi Edysia

As the others have said, some of us are and have been where you are now. What lacks for support in the NHS is made up by us here sharing our personal hells and personal heavens. No matter how bad it gets, no matter how low we go we need each other.

I used to think cancer was a cruel disease, then I met the thyroid disease and it is a cruel disease. Made worse by some parts of the NHS who seem to think a pat on the head and take this is all us sufferers need.

It is our voices, singley or collectively that makes these changes happen. So please live and add your voice to make the NHS know we need changes in their attitude, testing and most of all their support.

Dont become a lost voice, just another statistic in the NHS system.. Learn aobut this disease, educate the Drs, so please please please, live and fight alongside us all.

We care here, we share here, we learn here, we make it less lonely here. We can bring change here. We are all in this together, be it the newcomers freshly diagnosed or the knoweldgeable one, wearing the scars of been there and come out the otherside.

Reply to this

lin2457
lin2457
24 Feb 2013
Years befor i was diagnosed with underactive thyroid i suffered years of panic attacks depression and sleep probs was on diazpam for 17years when i was in the 3rd year of thyroxine getting right dose..eventually anxiety stopped i took myself off diazpam gradually i still have bouts of depression but soon passes.have you thought about changing your doctors surgery write down what you feel what help you want sometimes when we get to the doctors its all to much and we babble it out all muddled take a step at a time tick it off your list till you are where you want to be,sounds crazy but anything is worth a go,you will get there but get a new doctor its your right and ask at reception which one is better for your type of problem they all major in diffrent areas most,good luck i hope you get what you need. Linda

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joesmum
joesmum
25 Feb 2013
Hi Edysia,
Just to let you know that you are very much in my thoughts again today. I hope you are managing to take take some comfort and support from all these amazing messages. I also send my love to your friend Tony who sounds like a wonderful companion and friend.
Xxxxxx

Reply to this

mowmow
mowmow
25 Feb 2013
Hi Edysia.
Trust me when i say, I know exactly how you feel. I have no friends or family near me either. Even after diagnosis, my doctor STILL hinders my recovery by calling me a liar. The tablets she prescribed make me sick but she says "thats not possible". Suicide has been first and formost on my mind recently but there's always a thought that pulls me back. I dont know how much longer i can go on. In the meantime, just know, ur not alone xxxxxx

Reply to this

Edysia
Edysia
26 Feb 2013
Thank you Mowmow. I am so sorry that you feel bad and lonely too. Shame on them! They are liars not us!I am sending you lots of love xxx

Reply to this

Faffy
Faffy
25 Feb 2013
Dear Edysia, I am wondering how you are today. Am hoping you are feeling a little better after all the people on here who care for you have all rallied round. I am going to keep looking for you on Facebook but I don't know your last name so I hope I can find you if you go on there. Xxxx
Faffy

Reply to this

Edysia
Edysia
26 Feb 2013
Dear Faffy. Thank you so much for your kind thoughts and words xx

Reply to this

123hih123
123hih123
25 Feb 2013
Hi Edysia.


Me to how are you doing today been thinking of you all day. I have not long been in from work but wanted to see if you were ok

Sending you lots of love and a big hug xx

Reply to this

PoppyRose
PoppyRose
25 Feb 2013
Hello there. We all know how you must be feeling so frustrated. It makes me so angry to read how depressed people with this condition are allowed to get. Many of us are having problems with neglectful GPs too, including me. I've just spent 1 hour talking to a medical member of staff from a clinic and they can't believe my situation. Don't give up or they will win!!
We share each others strength here just by reading and responding to each other - it's all we can do really isn't it?
Just by you re posting yesterday, I'm sure we all punched the air. Yes! :)

Reply to this

Edysia
Edysia
25 Feb 2013
Everyone is so supportive here. Unfortunately I just can't anymore. I cant explain how do I feel. its beyond description. I am affected in every-way. Things that existed before thyroid problems are now exacerbated by it. I need surgery. I have terrible uterine fibroids, I am terrible pain. I know thyroid meds help but they won't shrink my fibroids and they won't sort out my PCOS if its genetic. The cruelty, ignorance and stupidity of doctors is just not possible for me to conquer any more. I don't have money for good medical specialists such as gynecologist either . I won't deal with NHS any more. I jus
t can't take it. I really can't. I am physically on my own. My pms is so bad now ( despite NDT) that I just can't bear any minute longer of it. My insomnia, terrible anxiety, depression .... I can't rest even for a day. And this debilitating abdominal pain. My antidepressants and even tranquilizers are not helping.... It must be the end of me because I can't deal with NHS people any more. Despite my lengthy letters, explanations, bargaining for blood tests, quoting various medical studies in support of every course of action I propose... . I can't. I am supplemented with every possible vitamin and mineral that exist... I take ERFA which is a good medication. i do everything on my own, and I have reached solid wall I can't face these people who call themselves doctors any more... I am lost

Reply to this

Totoro
Totoro
26 Feb 2013
Hello Edysia,

Please don't give up hope and if you are feeling very low please call the Samaritans 08457 90 90 90 at any time. They don't judge, they just listen.

I wish we could all come around and hug you and help you. I can hear you're in so much pain physically and mentally. Don't give up hope, sometimes miracles happen.

Have you told any doctor/nurse/any professional that you've attempted to take your life? Do they realise how serious you are about ending all the pain you're in? Please tell one of them, anyone. Or here is another organisation: Breathing Space.

www.breathingspacescotland.... 0800 83 85 87

"Anyone can feel down or depressed from time to time. It helps to get some Breathing Space. You are not alone and talking about how you feel is a positive first step in getting help. So don't let problems get out of hand, phone Breathing Space where experienced advisors will listen and provide information and advice."

The Breathing Space phoneline is available 24 hours at weekends (6pm Friday - 6am Monday) and 6pm - 2am on weekdays (Monday - Thursday).

I know this is Scotland based, but I'm sure anyone can call and they could also give advice on help in other areas.

I hope an angel watches over you tonight.

Much Love
Totoro.

Reply to this

Edysia
Edysia
26 Feb 2013
Thank you Totoro xxx

Reply to this

JoanofArc
JoanofArc
26 Feb 2013
Dear Edysia,

I have an idea. How about just not dealing with doctors anymore? Seriously. How about just forgetting about all of that stuff for now, and take each day at a time. I truly believe that the incessant thoughts of getting help from GPs, trying to make them understand, quoting scientific studies and so on, can just exacerbate one's ill health further until it becomes unbearable.

I know because I've done that, and so have many others here. There comes a time though, when you truly have to step back and realise that perhaps that course of action is not worth taking right now. Not because it isn't logical, but because if you continue with it, it is threatening your life. I truly understand where you are coming from, believe me. The diabolical nonsense I have had to endure at the hands of the 'Medical Profession' has made me want to end my life several times over. But I am still here despite everything, and that is a testament to my indomitable spirit. This illness and these clowns on the NHS can only break you if you let them. And having read your original post, it appears you have conquered so much to give in now. Don't give in Edysia.

Everyone is rooting for you here. I am sure someone on this site would be prepared to sit with you or visit regularly until you are feeling stronger. Just sharing a cup of tea with someone who understands, a gentle walk in the sunshine, a funny DVD. Hell, how about a few glasses of Merlot? ANYTHING to distract you away from these troublesome thoughts.

Best wishes,
Joan

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Account deleted
anonymous
26 Feb 2013

This comment was deleted.

Edysia
Edysia
28 Feb 2013
Thank you Joan. That would be great if I did not have to deal with doctors any more. If not my gynecological problems and pain that accompany them then I would just self- tune with my Erfa and vitamins.
However at the moment even if it my ovaries and fibroid ( and whatever is in there that is wrong) hurt I am just taking painkillers and staying away from doctors, I do not know how this is going to end.
Sending you best wishes too.

E xx

Reply to this

ravenhex
ravenhex
26 Feb 2013
I can be of help here. I am complex, very complex is putting it mildly.

First of all your abdominal pains. I want to know where, how often and what type of pain you are getting. Also the medication or diet advice you have been given or not given.

I ask this as my inner me, my abdominal self, is screwed bigtime. I have, at last count, 17 bowel twists, throughout the entire length of the bowel. I have huge recurring ovarian cysts. by huge current one is 500cm Fast as it pops it reforms my ovaries are constantly firing now, they do not stop. Ive had a hysterectomy and had firboids in my womb. I also have adhsions, these are scar tissues similiar to fibroids, they grow through organs and stick and twist. My whole abdomen is full of them. The bowel is stuck together and to my abdominal wall, bowel too. D. I have had multiple operations but still they leave the ovarian tissue, mines now embedded into the bowel, in. While telling me the horror scene that is my inner organs. Despite agreeing to have a stoma fitted, They just pop and stich me back up.I now can no longer have any surgery. I wont survive and I have no trust in my hosptials to bring me back if I had to have surgery. Due to this my bowel is now stuck to my abdominal wall, the organs are all over the show stuck and adhesions are rampant. Hence no surgery to abdomen ever can be done. Theyd cut the bowel and that would be my end of life.

So abdominal pains I know all about, PCOS, fibroids too. For that I can help and be a shoulder to cry on and gain some relief hopefully.

PCOS is managable genetic or otherwise. fibroids, also treatable A piece of good news here. Menopause kills off the fibroids. Now I do not know your age, so I am going to say this. if you have had children and wish no more, hysterectomy maybe the way to go. Or given an injection of Gonadotropin-releasing hormone analogs drug, that shuts down the ovaries and production of oestrogen. Ive been on it and it begand to work, then my Consultant stopped it as he felt that was it menopause arrived. Blood tests revelaed no it hadnt and nor am I despite having a hysterectomy when i was 25years old and still waiting for the menopause to get on with it. 20+ years of this hell Ive been going through.

Fibroids, like my adhesions are fed by Oestrogen. When the menopause hits, the oestrogen goes down killing of the fibroids.

Progesterone, and the contraceptive pill can also help. Its trial and error. Ive have deprovera and I would always say caution on that. I could have killed people such was my physical and mental reaction to it. I was so angry. Luckily it was topped and the that kind of rage stopped.

Weight is another oestrogen provider and is known in PCOS. By default PCOS makes you gain weight, making the PCOS worse and round you go.

Now insomina. For about 20 years, I did not sleep more than 2 hours per night. I was awake and my mind racing. So that I do know well. I found a little santiy by going to bed and even if I didnt sleep I shut my eyes and concentrated on my body relaxing. My brain maybe a wake but my body need not be. It helped, its not a cure but it helped. Id stay in bed 8 hours then get up. I tried not to doze off, 4pm is my nodding off period. but if it happend it did so I slept and didnt let it bother me.

Due to my inner state I suffer acid reflus, vomiting,gas pockets. Gas pockets can not be cured via pain relief. There is no pain releife for it. What works is peppermint, be it polos, or mine tea. It relaxes the bowel and lets the gas drift on and hopefully out. Ive since stopped being embarassed if one escapes rather loudly. Better out than in. LOL.

Yes I have thought I want to die, still do. I wont lie. However I know me taking my life will hurt others and that I cant put anybody through. There are days when the temptation is strong to say Ive had enough. I get through them dark days.

The medication I am on, this is where my twisted sense of humour comes inot play, my Lansarople, whichis for my acid reflus, it turns the acid to water, causes......depression. How on earth a simple indegestion tablet can cause that I shall never know but it makes me laugh. As if any Dr asks me do you feel depressed I answer, yes my indegestion tablet causes it. The look on their faces is well worth a chuckle.

Your medication may also be cuasing more problems than you realise, it can happen. My knock out drug, which it isnt, its the side effect not only do I get a black tongue I zonk out. Now there is a current argument between my GPP and the hsoptial Pain Management ( or useless airhead clinic I call it) as my medication is not desinged for ong term usage. They says it is, then send my GP a letter stating the medicaiton im on is not for long term usage and is agaisnt the Nice recommendation and rules. I do love shoving that gem back in their faces and laughing.

Like you I have struggles and still am with getting the right medical aid or treatment. My bowel Dr who I was supposed to see post op, never sent me an appointment. When my GP enquired she got a letter back saying he was refusing to see me. That was that.

I now issue complaints if I feel I dont get the respect or treatment I deserve. Makes me feel better knowing its on their records.

So there another thing we have in common. Stupid Drs and fighting for treatment we should have by course not by bashing the doors in to get at.

How about we make a deal here. I promise to try my very best to help you and help find you the right help, make complaints, or at the very least find a middle ground you feel more comfortable with?

More importantly a shoulder to gnaw on in the darker times and I know and understand what you are going through having been and am going through it still.

What do you say?

PS excuse the spelling my brain fog today has lost the dictionary that usually sits in my brain.

Reply to this

Imogen
Imogen
26 Feb 2013
So glad you are back online, haven`t stopped thinking about you and if you are ok. Love Imogenxx

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Edysia
Edysia
26 Feb 2013
I am sorry, I can't write I am really very upset. If I didn't have excruciating pain in my lower abdomen, every day for the last 4-5 months ( fibroids , maybe ovarian cysts??... Lots of possible causes) than I would not get back to talk to these idiots any more.. I might need laparoscopy or u.fibroids embolization and I need them for that... It's just unbearable .. I can't even say how much I hate these people... I had another appointment with a total idiot today.. No hope.
Exx

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123hih123
123hih123
26 Feb 2013
Hi Edysia

Was just checking on how you were doing not very good I see I have just copied this from a previous post

PLEASE PLEASE RING THEM NOW

i WISH i COULD REACH OUT AND GIVE YOU A HUG

Please don't give up hope and if you are feeling very low please call the Samaritans 08457 90 90 90 at any time. They don't judge, they just listen.

Reply to this

123hih123
123hih123
26 Feb 2013
Hi Edysia

Was just checking on how you were doing not very good I see I have just copied this from a previous post

PLEASE PLEASE RING THEM NOW

i WISH i COULD REACH OUT AND GIVE YOU A HUG

Please don't give up hope and if you are feeling very low please call the Samaritans 08457 90 90 90 at any time. They don't judge, they just listen.

Reply to this

Edysia
Edysia
26 Feb 2013
I phoned Samaritans. They don't know what to say. I am in physical pain, might need surgery. NHS are ..... Samaritans won't help. Talking is good to some point, later is just the end.

Reply to this

RedApple
RedApple Admin
27 Feb 2013
In no way do I want to 'diss' the Samaritans because I'm in absolutely no doubt that they offer a very valuable service. However, in cases like ours, there is little they can do. One of my closest friends trained and worked as a Samaritan for a while. When this illness hit me, not only did she not know what to say or do, but she actually removed herself from my life forever. My predicament was beyond anything she could handle, despite her training and experience. They are trained to listen and be supportive, but as you say Edysia, talking is only good to a point and cannot substitute for the medical help needed for the physical health problems.

We're all rooting for you Edysia. Every day, someone on this support group is thinking about you and willing things to improve for you very very soon.

Reply to this

joesmum
joesmum
27 Feb 2013
Hi Edysia,
Please would you let us know where you live. What part of the country you are in. One of us could be very close by to you. Just Private Message me so you can be discreet about your address.
I am sending you all my love.
Sarah
Xxxx

Reply to this

123hih123
123hih123
27 Feb 2013
Hi Edysia

How you doing today we have had a bit of sun in Essex today I hope you have had some to just to help you feel a little brighter.

I'm glad you rang the Samaritans last night even though you didn't feel they were much good to you at least you had some kind of human contact.

Did you have a look at the graves disease hyperthyrosium and thyroid eye disease facebook page I told you about there are people on there 24/7 that you can talk to and some who can relate to what you are going through but above all like on here we are all there to support each other so you/ we are never alone

Thinking of you sending you love and a hug xxxxxxxxxx

Reply to this

Edysia
Edysia
28 Feb 2013
Thank you 123hih123. It was a bit sunny here today too. Shame I am not strong enough today to go out.
I might try facebook at some point.
Sending you hugs and love too xxxxxx

Reply to this

123hih123
123hih123
28 Feb 2013
Hi Edysia

Thank you for your reply if you cant get out in the sun I hope you have a spot inside that you can sit and get the sun on your face

You sound a little brighter today I do hope you are .

No need to reply as I know you dont feel like writing much

But just letting you know I am still thinking of you (plus checking that you are ok)

sending you my love and a hug xxxxxxxxxx

Reply to this

123hih123
123hih123
3 Mar 2013
Still thinking of you and wondering how you are getting on

sending you a hug and love xxxxxx

Reply to this

Faffy
Faffy
27 Feb 2013
Dear Edysia, my mother was very old and ill, the doctor wouldn't come out to her. I couldn't cope and I called an ambulance, they said I should have called them in the first place, I suggest you get yourself to a and e if you can when you feel so ill. Xxxx

Reply to this

AndyO173
AndyO173
28 Feb 2013
Hi

I had been carrying a deteriorating thyroid problem since my 20's I was told. I am now in my 50's. I always knew that I had a health problem but put it down to hypochondria following blood tests in the UK which proved that I was healthy. But my health deteriorated further, affected my job, relationships, my whole life. I lost my job, my house and it was only by chance that I got diagnosed with hypothydroism on holiday in Australia of all places. Basically I collapsed with serious mental issues and admitted to a psychiatric unit in Australia. I spent two weeks in the unit and was told that I was not mentally ill but my thyroid had just to say stopped working and that had triggered a psychological reaction within me. I was reassured by the Endocronologist in Australia about my health and that it would take about 12 months to put right with constant blood test monitoring to get my dose of thyroxine to the correct level. I was discharged and my notes were sent to my GP here in the UK. When I presented myself to my doctor he could not apologise enough for missing my condition in the UK. Basically they were not testing for thyroid issues in me. I am male, it affects mostly females, I did not "shout" loud enough about how ill I was, I "grinned and beared it". I am fine two years on, a new man, a happy man and about to start my own business. I sincerely hope you find your way through your torment and wish you God's love.

Reply to this

Edysia
Edysia
28 Feb 2013
Thank You Andy. I am sorry about what happened to you .. to everyone. It really should not be this way.
I am glad to hear that you have made it. It is good to hear about positive outcomes. For me now it seem like my world has ended. All things that I have valued are gone. However if it was possible for you to make a total recovery and if you got to the point where you can start living life to the full again that gives me some hope. Maybe I will be able to carry on with me studies and to be mentally active again.
Thanks again for your post.
Edysia xx

Reply to this

AndyO173
AndyO173
28 Feb 2013
You are most welcome Edysia. Join me on Facebook if you have an account. I chat to a lady in the US whose brother is in similar circumstances. You can send a friend request to me Andy Willy Wilson or if you give me your user name I will send you a request. Facebook offers great support and can be fun too. :)

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